A Tiny Splinter of Anger

It's odd that sometimes we don't even realize what is the true cause of an emotion we experience.  Sometimes we are angry at someone, and we actually believe that we know why we are angry.  The person has done something that hurts, offends or annoys us and we are reacting to it.  Right?

Maybe not.  Sometimes, those little occurences are simply excuses for us to express our anger.  Maybe they are actually masking the real cause.  I realized today that things that took place a few years ago that I thought I had moved past are actually the true cause of current squabbles.  Just because someone apologizes for a misdeed doesn't erase it from our minds or our hearts.  We carry that pain, and with it, insecurities.  So the little behaviors that we might have been able to ignore in the past now jump out at us like an alarm screaming, "see?  see how he is?  I told you that he..."

So for months (maybe even years), that little alarm has been beneath the surface, but not dormant, and it has been nudging my emotions with its subconscious messages.  Today, I unearthed it.  It was like digging out a massive splinter.  The process of removing it was painful; however, once it was out, it felt better; and I began to heal.

And, also  like a splinter, I didn't even realize it was in there until it really started causing a lot of pain.  I'm so glad it's out.

Mind over Matter

My daughter and I were discussing how to stop hiccups. I told her that I "think" mine away. I focus on my breathing, relax think about how calm I am, and literally make my diaphragm stop having spasms. I suggested that one can use her mind over matter in dealing with any number of physical pains or conditions.

Then, I realized something. If I am able to do this to overcome physical discomforts, why can't I use the same method to overcome mood related issues? Isn't it even more logical to use the mind to control the mind than to control the physical body?

So I am now trying this out. Just as I refuse to let my body convulse with hiccups, I refuse to let my mind feel depressed, anxious, irritated or angry (unless I have a good reason!). I am in control of my moods - they don't control me. I pride myself on my intelligence and my ability to use logic and critical thinking to solve many of life's issues. So why wouldn't I use these same skills to maintain control over my emotions?

When I have cried during a movie or became sad after hearing a song, it was my mind that created those responses. Just as my mind allows me to be cheered by certain fun happy songs or memories. We have a choice when it comes to our emotions. It's just an issue of reigning in our minds and reminding them who is the boss!