It's odd that sometimes we don't even realize what is the true cause of an emotion we experience. Sometimes we are angry at someone, and we actually believe that we know why we are angry. The person has done something that hurts, offends or annoys us and we are reacting to it. Right?
Maybe not. Sometimes, those little occurences are simply excuses for us to express our anger. Maybe they are actually masking the real cause. I realized today that things that took place a few years ago that I thought I had moved past are actually the true cause of current squabbles. Just because someone apologizes for a misdeed doesn't erase it from our minds or our hearts. We carry that pain, and with it, insecurities. So the little behaviors that we might have been able to ignore in the past now jump out at us like an alarm screaming, "see? see how he is? I told you that he..."
So for months (maybe even years), that little alarm has been beneath the surface, but not dormant, and it has been nudging my emotions with its subconscious messages. Today, I unearthed it. It was like digging out a massive splinter. The process of removing it was painful; however, once it was out, it felt better; and I began to heal.
And, also like a splinter, I didn't even realize it was in there until it really started causing a lot of pain. I'm so glad it's out.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Are you nuts, too?